How To Increase Self Confidence

By Adrian M. Felton


All of us want to be confident and feel confident. But there are many among us who have little or no self confidence. Self confidence is not acquired overnight. It takes a lot of determination and dedication for people who have insecurities and low self esteem within themselves to improve their self confidence. If you want to know how to improve self confidence then there are some easy steps that can be very helpful for you.It is a fact that everyone is not born with an in built sense of self confidence.Some people may find it hard to develop confidence sometimes because of their personal experiences or if they have very low self esteem. There are a few techniques or handy things that you can do to build your confidence. Some of these techniques are very simple and little changes that you can easily follow, and the others are things you need to work on for a bit longer to get the desired goal.

Think about it for a moment: after a good workout, whether it's in a gym or out jogging, how do you feel? Are you happier? Do you feel good? Do you feel less stressed? Hours later, do you find that you sleep better and deeper? And the great thing is when you feel happier, when you feel good and less stressed your level of self-esteem increases.Can you now see that how to improve self-esteem is easy? Exercise can dramatically affect your attitude in a positive way. Studies have shown that by jogging, brisk-walking or even gardening outside you can change your attitude, even if you jogged slowly for five minutes.Many of us are aware of the numerous benefits we gain from exercising, yet few take action in the long-term and stick to an exercise routine. The simplest way to get started is to find an exercise that you enjoy or may enjoy doing.

Focus on Your Success.It is a great way of gaining some confidence if you look fondly at some things you have achieved in life. It is easy to focus on what you have not achieved in life and lose confidence. But if you focus on things that you have done over the years, can help you rediscover your talents and abilities and help improve self confidence consequently.Write Down a List of All the Things You are Proud of.You need to believe in yourself and to do so you need to look at things you have done in the past or achieved that makes you feel proud of. Recognizing your own good qualities and all the good things you have done will remind you of your abilities and inspire you to achieve more. Making a list of all the good things you have done in life and using the list when you are in low self confidence can be very therapeutic.

Once you identify the exercise that you can see yourself sticking to for a few weeks, or even longer, decide how many times a week you will perform the routine. Remember, you can start slowly and for short periods of time and gradually build on them.You can start with, say, slow jogging for three minutes at a time two days a week. The following week increase that two minutes to three minutes. Continue this way until you reach forty minutes to one hour. Then you can, if you want to, exercise for four days a week then maybe five.

You should not feel ashamed of or insecure because of your past or current circumstances when it comes to improve self confidence. Be positive, get a good hobby, and talk yourself up to feel confident. Always try to stay focused on your positives to get rid of low self confidence and esteem.One of the questions psychologists and counselors of all kinds find themselves having to deal with rather frequently nowadays is the question on how to improve self esteem. Majority of the people who pose this question tend to be those who have come to the conclusion that most of the unhappiness in their lives is attributable to low self esteem. They therefore seek to know how they can improve their self-esteem, and hence overcome the unhappiness in their lives brought about by low self esteem -- conversely increasing the happiness in their lives.The relationship between low self esteem and unhappiness.The presumption that at least some unhappiness is brought about by low self esteem is one we have to deal with, before proceeding with this discussion on how to improve self esteem and increase one's happiness. We first of all need to deal with the question as to whether, indeed, it is true that some unhappiness is brought about by low self esteem. Whilst most people have already accepted it (that some unhappiness is brought about by low self esteem) as a statement of fact, there are those who opt to contest it. But given the fact that this is not really a discussion on the relationship between low self esteem and unhappiness, we won't dwell too much on that question.

Suffice it to say that, indeed (and incontestably), a great deal of unhappiness in our lives is caused by our worry as to 'what others will think of us.' Suffice it also to say that this worry (about others' perceptions of us) tends to be inversely related to our self esteem. That is to say, the lower our self esteem, the greater this worry about others' perceptions of us tends to be. Conversely, the higher our levels of self esteem, the lower/less our worry about others' perceptions of us.How higher self esteem leads to more happiness.Now, just think about it: how greater would your happiness be (than it is currently) if you didn't worry too much about others' perception of you - like what others will think about you, what others will say about you... and so on? If you answer that question honestly, you'll see how working to improve self esteem can result in enhanced happiness.

Don't defeat yourself before you start! You are often your own worst enemy, especially when you do not believe that you can actually achieve something. Many times, you can end up dismissing any chance you have to shine. It is up to you to ensure that you are on good terms with your conscience so that you can allow it to do what needs to be done. Remove all the negative criticisms buzzing around your mind and be positive as much of the time as possible.

The ultimate key to improved self esteem.So, if having high self esteem can be so beneficial, many people ask, how can they go about improving their self esteem levels? And that is where we come to learn that there is one (ultimate) way in which you can change your thinking patterns - and hence increase your happiness.The ultimate way in which you can improve self esteem and increase your happiness is by simply by starting to treat yourself as a 'dear friend.' Self esteem is basically a question of the relationship you have with yourself. If you don't respect yourself, if you are perpetually criticizing yourself (mentally), if you don't take proper care of yourself, it is hard to have high self esteem. Start treating yourself as a dear friend in every way, in every moment. That's the key point, the rest are details! We venture to look at those 'details' now.

Follow your fashion: you are original and that means that your way is customized only for you. In such a case, you are the master of your own game. It is thus easy for you to win in such a situation no matter the challenges. So, avoid 'copy and pasting' other peoples ideas.Know your niche. Identify the thing that you do best and be sure to impress at all times. You are better placed knowing your area of specialty than trying to do things that do not fit into your style of life. You are at home in your own niche thus an increased self-confidence.

Be social and thus more interactive. By reaching out to more people, you are able to learn new things and how to get by with life. Keeping to yourself is an enemy to your self-confidence later in your life. Therefore, try to come out of the cocoon.

Learn to forgive yourself when you don't accomplish all that you set out to. All of us falls short sometimes, but rather than focusing on the negative aspects, learn to adjust your goals so that you have a better chance of meeting them. Almost any negative experience can be turned into a positive experience with the right mindset.Most people do not see just how potentially damaging low self esteem can be. Thankfully, our self esteem is not permanent--we can always work on improving it for the better. I hope these simple suggestions on how to improve self esteem has helped you in some way.




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