How to Become an Effective Listener

By Hal Neff


Successful communication is among the keys to success, and once you are good at it, people notice.

A lot of people think that building up interaction skills involves creating convincing speech and conversational skills, but what you may not realize is just how critical efficient listening could be.

Without an efficient listener, none of your conversational skills would matter. This is due to your points - no matter how clear - still wouldn't be noticed or fully understood.

Remember that listening is a full fifty percent of the interaction effort so it's worth your time and effort to build this valuable skill, too.

Here are some methods you can use to develop your listening abilities:

1 . Fight the urge to talk. Sometimes when you are engaged in a heated discussion, you begin to concentrate on what you are going to say next. You may even be tempted to open your mouth before the other individual is finished. Make the extra effort to keep your lips sealed until they are through talking.

* While they're speaking, do not worry about what you are going to say or how you're going to say it. Instead, concentrate on the words and body language of the other individual.

2 . Look interested. Your own nonverbal communication abilities are important while you are listening. If you are looking disinterested and uncaring, the person attempting to communicate with you will probably pick up on these subtle hints. They might be upset or less likely to reveal their thoughts. Makes sense, right?

* Engage with the individual speaking. Create eye contact and nod your head or smile. Let your discussion partner know that their points are coming across to you.

3. Repeat the highlights. One way to literally tell your conversation partner that they're effectively conversing is to just restate their points. You could repeat key phrases in an affirming tone. You may even give them a quick overview of what they just said in your own words and phrases.

* Avoid sharing your opinions when repeating their concepts or ideas. At this moment, you simply want to communicate that you've totally understood their meaning.

4. Ask questions. Don't be scared to ask your conversation partner to elaborate on what they're saying. If you want more information, then ask for it. The significant thing is that you understand what they are trying to get across.

5. Have patience. It's also important to maintain patience, particularly when dealing with individuals who may be shy or may not have the ability to communicate well. If you are not patient, you may end the conversation prematurely or scare off your conversation partner.

6. Follow your partner's lead. Being an efficient listener doesn't mean that your only job is to listen. You can definitely add to the conversation, too. At the same time, you do not want to overpower the conversation. Add your input if they ask for it or when they have finished their point.

Remember that practice makes perfect. After you've had an important discussion, ask yourself what you remember from the conversation. Write down the details if possible. Did you allow the other person to do most of the talking?

When you fight the urge to dominate conversations, you'll be able to really hear what people have to say!




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