We each have these vital moments that we reach in our lives. Often, for some, it occurs sooner than later. For others...it takes years on years to reach that place. But we all reach that place. We all come to a single point where we all know, within the depths of our hearts, that things must change. This desire for change is like nothing you've ever experienced before. There is a different sort of energy to it. There is a different feeling to it altogether.
You should do the scariest thing you will ever do - face your most vicious nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I can remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. At the end, I'll never forget that feeling of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning, 7 days later, it reached its bottom. Positively rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that completely black dark room, it was not granted, and I awakened the day after looking at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could take the time to reconstruct my complete world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on others, to be accountable for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, that's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing kind of agony which will frighten you to death. It frightens you as you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, this is where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great and hearty faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this type of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you might be destroyed, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that has been hindering you. You are going to have to dive deep ...down into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sharp blade. No shields. No weapon. No attempt to rise above all of it.
You need to go in exposed and exposed.
You can come out. You will cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you need to go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life begins.
You should do the scariest thing you will ever do - face your most vicious nightmare...yourself.
My moment showed up in late 2011 which wasn't by choice. I can remember standing in that flat, hearing words that I would never forget, and literally watching myself from above crumble. I manipulated everything about myself in that minute. I compromised. I did everything I could. At the end, I'll never forget that feeling of turning to ashes. It wasn't the instant that did it, no, that was just the match. It was actually the whole stacking up of dry leaves and hay from many years of neglect...and that little match was everything in took to spark something that would redefine me from that moment on.
That was only the beginning, 7 days later, it reached its bottom. Positively rock-bottom. I made a request to the heavens in that completely black dark room, it was not granted, and I awakened the day after looking at a crumbled landscape...with the understanding that I could take the time to reconstruct my complete world the way that I wanted it.
But I would face myself.
More importantly, I would have to burn everything down that I ever supported myself with. I would learn the way to support myself for once, to not blame everything on others, to be accountable for my whole life, and to eventually let everything that was locked up and caged in me out. It had to all come out.
You see, when you build walls to keep things out, you also build walls to keep the amazing things in you from ever reaching any person out there looking to love you. Love was walled in...hurt was walled out. Discomfort was kept away from me...joy stayed covered under the dust. I ran from fear...so my certainty and grounding evaded my life like the plague. I had to tear everything down. I had to tear my ego down. I had to tear down my projections. I had to rip apart everything and start over completely.
I did exactly that. I started writing. I started being honest about what was going on with me. I built everything back, brick by brick on a different foundation. My spine and my heart would be the dense iron place from which I would create.
What I realized on the way was this - those places you are afraid to go, that's where your nightmare lives. It crawls around in that space. It's this thick dark oozing kind of agony which will frighten you to death. It frightens you as you think that if you go there you'll get caught in it and drown. The actuality is, this is where your strength is. There's incalculable amounts of strength in going there. Just as there's strength in great and hearty faith and light, there's equal massive amounts of strength in going to that place that ravishes your heart with fear...and yet when you go through those places you develop this type of belief in yourself that truly is beyond confidence. It's the kind of feeling that you know that everything around you might be destroyed, and you absolutely could build it all back no matter the situation.
Power.
Actual power.
"Take from me everything world, and I will come back and build it back better...and no matter how you challenge me...I will continue to shine. "
Face your worst nightmare. Face your fears. Don't be afraid to let everything go for the opportunity to build it back better. Need love in your life? You're going to have to let go of everything on the opposite end that has been hindering you. You are going to have to dive deep ...down into the depths of your soul, lantern in hand, without the conquering sharp blade. No shields. No weapon. No attempt to rise above all of it.
You need to go in exposed and exposed.
You can come out. You will cry, suffer, and hurt...but you'll come out. I'd never tell you to go anywhere that you couldn't actually come out of. I promise you, this is the one place you need to go for everything to release. To build something new, to start living the grandest adventure you could really ever live...you have to go here. The shadows. The depths. The darkness.
I promise you...this place, is where life begins.
About the Author:
Evan Sanders is the author of The Words Of Encouragement, a website dedicated to bringing the best quotes, motivational content on the web, and blogs all to one place. Need some more motivation and encouragement to keep moving forward? Dig into these life is too short quotes for a little bit of perspective on why you should drag yourself out of the darkness.
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