Three great sources to answer the question "How can I get self confidence?"

By Jessie Chatwin


The key to more self confidence is to make sure you use three simple sources of information: You, Questionnaires and Educational Media.

The thing is, quite a few people wish to have more self confidence, notably at the office in order to manage the daily situations and discussions with the manager or colleagues. More self confidence and better self esteem commonly comes with an optimistic attitude, more motivation and thus more energy to manage challenging circumstances. And would you not want to have more energy?

Are you ready for a challenge? Let's do it.

The first source to get self confidence: You (free)

Although it might be clear that you personally will have to act in order to be more self assured, it might be somewhat surprising that you, yourself, can also provide the perfect solution, before searching for external support or advice.

So, what can you do in order to be more self confident?

1.Ask yourself whether you are really lacking self confidence. In most cases, we are actually lacking experience and therefore feel insecure at first. Which is natural, and not necessarily a reason to seek for support. There is quite a difference between being nervous while talking to the manager for the first time about a salary raise, than having sweaty hands every time you see this one person coming down the corridor. So, what don't you like doing so much? In which circumstances? Why?

2. Ask and test yourself with what area you would like to have more confident. Narrow it down, into a specific field, do you think you're, for instance uncomfortable in presenting? (Continue doing this step once you have worked on a few others to find out where you have made progress.)

3. Ask your entourage for feedback. Sometimes, people will not even realize that that you are lacking self confidence. We automatically think that they know. Should you be uncertain, ask people that know you well.

4. Monitor yourself. Increase self-awareness by paying attention on how you react in certain situations. If you have an important meeting scheduled, use that meeting to observe your own behaviour and learn from it.

5. Observe others. Find that person at the workplace (or at your home) which you admire and find out how they (re-) act in certain circumstances.

6. Manage your (lack of) confidence. Most of us get nervous when speaking in public. Looking for a routine to cope with this situation sooner or later will make it more manageable so we feel more secure and self confident.

Does this make sense?

The second source to get more self confidence: Questionnaires (at some expense)

Doing a questionnaire or possibly a test cannot only provide clarity for your field of improvement, additionally, it can provide a great dose of self confidence. You will find below a number of three quizzes and tests which I've personally completed and can recommend. There are other good tests available on the internet that you can choose from, it really depends what you wish to learn.

1. Mind Tools.com provides a (free) little quiz to check your level of self confidence and provides some indication of action at the end. It takes 3 minutes to complete.

2. Strengths Finder 2.0 is a solid test to raise knowledge of your strengths, not your weaknesses.

3. Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is among the classical tests on several personality types. It's really a good tool to remind us that we all have different character traits, and several of those make people more confident than other people. The test could be completed online with a personal feedback by a certified professional. You may consider taking this test in connection with a classroom training, if at all possible.

The third source to get self confidence: educational media (at some cost)

Once you've completed a test like one of the previously listed, it is easier to concentrate on the particular field of improvement in which you are lacking self confidence. Most of the time some kind of test or questionnaire is offered in combination with a training course, so, for anyone who is sure that you intend to boost your self confidence via a seminar or workshop, check in advance whether there are tests involved.

Now, check out this list of references I use on a general basis:

1. Books (or e-editions):

a. "How to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie - one of THE best books to increase self confidence in interpersonal relationships

b. Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahnemann - great source to help discover how we're thinking, which often can have a great influence on our confidence.

2. Online courses: If you are fond of online learning, take a look at udemy.com or udacity.com. There are courses available on all kinds of topics, and they are affordable.

3. Podcasts: Similar to the above, but if you want to listen only to short information nuggets, there's quite a variety of podcasts on the market to go into detail how to build self confidence. For instance, you will find one great podcast by Steve Pavlina, have a look on his site.

Last but not least, to go back to the question "How can I get self confidence?", pick out a few of the resources mentioned, and give them a shot. One at a time. Perhaps you do the first quiz I recommended above, it only takes 3 minutes and it's also free. That will hopefully get you started.

I recommend you to build it in your self development plan, if you have one. That would allow you to complete the steps throughout the year without forgetting any. It is a process, and it will take time.




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