How To Gain Confidence - You Can Develop Hope

By Megan R. Grayson


Part of learning how to gain confidence is an ability to maintain a positive attitude about yourself and your life. A key aspect to being positive is maintaining a sense of hope.I look at hope as simply a belief that there is something good to look forward to in your future. This may relate to many different things, including family, friends, life experiences, holidays and career success.But the problem is too many people look at hope as something that comes and goes, that they have no control over. They think that their hopefulness is simply a reflection of their external situation. If things are going to get better in their lives, they feel hopeful. If things are going poorly, they feel hopeless.

Do you have any hobbies or sports that you enjoy playing? Some things like going swimming, painting or writing can hold your attention and get you into a state of 'flow'. While you are in the flow you forget about everything else.Afterwards, you'll feel competent and capable. It's a great way to boost your self-esteem. If you don't have any particular hobbies or pastimes that you enjoy make an effort to try something you've always wanted to try.

Picture yourself doing it, and then give it a try! It doesn't have to be something big - it can be as simple as joining a walking club.You'll find that you are more centered and happier if you do something that puts you in that flow at least once a week.It's been shown that low self-esteem develops hand-in-hand with individuals who put too much focus on themselves. You can gain confidence by doing something that focuses on someone else or even something else.You'll find that when you are in a situation where you are meeting new people, you immediately become less nervous when you focus on the person you are meeting.

Writing your goals down on paper. People who fail will write their goals down once, look at them, put pen and paper down and then forget about it. People who have learnt how to gain self confidence proceed with their goals and never ever quit. I know this may sound harsh right now, but quitters remain quitters until they believe they can be winners. Be a winner.Be a winner. Even if you lose at one point in time be a winner. Even if somebody totally humiliates you, you are a winner. Why? Simply because everybody is a winner. Everybody is good at something. The reason you have low self confidence is because you have been programmed to believe something that isn't true... at all. Maybe people around you have told you that you are worthless or too stupid to do something. Guess what, you are not, you are a winner. You are a winner because you know that if you set your mind to do something you will obtain this goal. You have done it before, every single time. You just don't know it.

You weren't born a shy person. You aren't a shy person because it has something to do with your genes. Shyness isn't a life sentence. Most people tend to think of themselves as shy people because at times they feel insecure. If you feel insecure from time to time, it doesn't mean that you are shy!Here's a simple exercise for you. Think of situations when you felt truly confident, relaxed and extroverted. Done? Now think about it. If there were so many situations when you felt you were a confident person, you can't be shy by nature. And that means that you can change yourself and become 100% confident person. Read some articles on how to gain confidence, take action and you'll get rid of your shyness!

People who are close to you have more impact on you than you think. Sometimes if you want to change you have to change your surroundings and it should start with your friends.If some of your friends are negative, pessimistic people, they make you a negative and pessimistic person too. And that makes it very hard to improve your confidence. Stop meeting with people who make you feel bad and start meeting with people who make you feel good (preferably with highly confident people).

Confident people automatically "take the bull by the horns", without even thinking about it. When confident people don't like something, they change it.On the other hand, people who are not confident tend to struggle with making changes, but if they wish to lead an enjoyable and comfortable life, then they will need to learn how to gain confidence to make the required changes.

Second, speak with confidence. Picture yourself talking with a very close friend so that you will feel comfortable with your conversations. Plan ahead and think about the topics you'd like to discuss during your first date. This gives you a sense of control knowing where to lead the conversations that would enhance the chances of a successful first date. Good examples for getting to know each other better include discussing your likes and dislikes, your work, friends, hobbies you enjoy and how you feel about what's going on in the world, etc. Keep the conversation light, but not too shallow. Don't hesitate to ask questions about your date as this will keep the conversation balanced. Just make sure it is appropriate with regards to the time and place.

If you get out of bed in the morning and you immediately moan to yourself about the weather, the prospect of work, your looks, etc., then guess what? You will be destined to have a bad day. You are priming your subconscious to create a bad day for you.Abraham Lincoln once said, "Most people are about as happy as they make up their minds to be." And he was right. If you think positive thoughts when you get up in the morning, then you will enjoy a much better day, regardless of what actually happens.Accomplishments are necessary when you are learning how to gain confidence. They give you a sense of value and self worth. It's important that you set yourself new goals on a regular basis, making sure that they are set small to begin with. As your self confidence grows, you should set yourself increasingly more challenging goals.

Try to learn something new everyday to broaden your mind. There's nothing better than knowledge to make you feel more confident about yourself. The great Anthony Robbins said, "Once you stop growing, you die." Sound advice.By learning how to gain confidence, over the course of time you will find that it becomes much easier for you to make any necessary changes to your life. This in turn gives you even more confidence. And the cycle repeats.




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