Getting Your Spouse To Agree To Marriage Counseling

By Marissa Velazquez


Nobody really wants to acknowledge the fact that their relationship is in need of help, but nowadays it is the case that a lot of people are facing problems within their marriages. There are many reasons for this, including the financial pressures that many are now under, and the general stress of modern life. Regardless of the reasons for the relationship's breakdown, the persons involved should try to view marriage counseling as a positive addition to their lives.

It is not always the case when both persons agree to go for outside assistance. There could be a number of reasons why someone may be hesitant, even if they know that it could help. When you have to discuss going to a counselor with your spouse, it is best if it is done in a certain way, so that the most beneficial outcome can be achieved.

Make sure that you bring up the topic when you are both feeling relaxed, and when there is no one else around. It is a private matter between the two of you and it should not be discussed with anyone else. Try to talk when you know that your partner is not overly stressed from work or other matters, so that it can be a conversation rather than an argument. Talk about it in a positive way, and in a way that your partner won't feel as if he or she is going to be negatively viewed.

A counselor will see either a couple or just one person, therefore, if your spouse refuses to go then you can still attend the sessions. However, it will be best if you are both present. If you are forced to go on your own, stay committed, and see if you can learn some ways of helping the relationship. Your partner may change his mind in time.

If your partner has agreed to work with you, then you are off to a good start. When both of you agree on the path to take in order to improve your relationship, then you can start to consider the outcome that you desire. Before you even start the sessions with the counselor, you can make a list of goals. Note why you are attending and what you hope to achieve. The list can be made with your spouse or on your own, but should be shared.

While you are noting your goals, make a few additional points as well. These will be the things that you feel need work. The types of things that you feel are a problem within your relationship. They can be brought forth to the counselor.

Although you are noting the negative aspects, start to work on the positive side of things as well. Write down everything you like about your partner and the relationship, and try to develop a more positive attitude. Both partners should make their own lists, and they can be shared.

Many couples can benefit from marriage counseling, not only those who are thinking of getting a divorce. Couples who have been under strain from substance abuse or the loss of a child can benefit, and just-married couples can enjoy learning some good communications skills. Try to choose a counselor who is professional and who has credentials.




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