Bring Some Chaos Into Your Soul

By Evan Sanders


You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star - Nietzsche

"Go to the deepest darkest place you can let yourself be and see if you can find a little light up in the top right corner?"

Yes, I saw that little light. For years, I thought that light was a thing by the name of resilience. What I really didn't know was that the light was actually joy. How could joy exist in this incredibly dark moment? How could joy be present in this horrid and horrible time?

I can recollect how it felt in that bad moment. Everything was totally black. The darkest black you could ever even imagine. If you have ever seen a black table that has been lacquered many thousands of times, the depths seem to be never-ending. This situation and time in my life was this type of black and it was as thick is molasses.

However, there somehow was light. The sole issue was, I wasn't trying to find it.

It is not going to be that easy for me to return to this place. There are lots of things that I have buried deep so absolutely no one could ever find them. Thing is, I knew they were there. They have been there all of the time. I've been so scared to let them bubble up that I've put on my shoes and run from my past directly into the future and have completely forgotten about the present. That's no way to live life. That isn't how my life will be lived from this time on.

This place, while dark, can be illuminated. Like all dark places, bring a bright enough lantern into it and you can really start to see things as they are and not just how your frightened mind has created them to be. So I'm going to be bringing that light in.

Into the depths we travel.




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